…freak up, not out.
Things happen. When I was fresh and new and born again, I had this expectation that from now on, everything was Going To Make Sense, and everything was Going To Work Out. Didn’t happen. Sometimes life doesn’t make sense, no matter who you deify. Just remember, even if you don’t understand why something turned out the way it did — maybe especially when you don’t understand — that God is there, He loves you, and things will work out for you the way they’re meant to. Your will and God’s will, you’ll notice, are two very different things. His is better, though, trust me. And if you don’t, trust Isaiah: :)
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.
— Isaiah 55:8-11 (ESV)